In Raising Awareness & Showing Support to Victims of Crime and Trauma

Today, we heard of two upsetting news about two different non-related Iranian families who have lost their children in two different situations.
The first story of loss: one Iranian family who lost their ten year old child in a car accident this past weekend, the news that this family do not even have the money for the child’s funeral was heartbreaking, however as I write this note, people are raising funds.

Another family lost their 15 year old boy committing suicide a couple of weeks ago (in January 2010) due to the act of bullying.   A friend of mine sends me this article published today, Feb 4, 2010:

Ashkan Sultani was the victim of bullying in school.  His parents told the reporter that they wish their son’s suicide serve as an act of kindness or help others knowing about the ways of preventing these tragedies.
Let’s give our prayers to this family as well as send our condolences to both families who are in pain.

In order to help Ashkan Sultani’s family in raising awareness about the issue of bullying, we have to know many things.
As these parents said, they do not like to point to someone or blame someone.   We could not disagree with the parents, while adding that the issue of bullying is not about blaming,
it is about knowing the borders and the limitations in all relationships.

We need to help our children understand the mechanism of bullying while help the offenders change their ways of interacting in schools and out there.

We need to know and to teach our children and help them to understand that bullying is a serious problem while help the offenders change their ways of interacting in schools and out there.
We may be parent of a child who is a bully or bullying someone.  In either way, it is significant to not take the act of bullying as a victim’s low self-esteem type of blame.
Sometime in our culture, the act of bullying is mixed with the notion of “joking.” The offender always excuses its act by saying: “I was just joking.” Numerous times I have met those families whose children bully behaviour has been noticed,
while parents excuse their children’ behaviour by relating this to act of being childish or else.  Bullying may be childish still this is a serious problem, affecting our children’s physical, mental, psychological, and social health in all aspects.

For the same reason, we have to teach our children that never take any type of teasing, picking on, ridiculing, laughing at, name calling, belittling, threatening, forcing, and making the other feel less. These are all the behaviours that the bullies do in order to take control over the bully.  As parents we have to be aware of what is going on with our children while teaching them to never accepting someone taking control over their mind in this way.

What do we know about bullying?

The Persian translation of the word “bully” gives us: ???? ????? ? ???? ?????

When we are checking in with the English to English translation of the world “bully” we will find these explanations:

A Bully: If someone bullies you into doing something, they make you do it by using force or threats.
If someone bullies you, they use their strength or power to hurt or frighten you.  A bully is someone who uses their strength or power to hurt or frighten people.

About Bullying, there are many good articles out there and I found this one of particular interest, as it talks a little bit about the brain of the person who bullies:

As a community, we in our Iranian community have never spoken about bullying and the signs of it.
In order to raise awareness we in the Iranian Educators Society for Families are organizing two public workshops in April 2010, to raise awareness about the victims of crime: Every Victim Matters.
This is part of a plan that is recognized and accepted while it will be funded by the Department of Justice Canada.

On this note, we will talk about bullying as a serious issue and how families can help their children not become a victim for bullying.
We invite all families who are interested to know about this serious issue and we hope we could see Ashkan Sultani and other parents of victims of bully to join us in exploring this issue in our community.
These two public seminars will be held in North Vancouver and Coquitlam as advertised and we invite all families who have been victimized for any reason due to any act of crime or trauma.  This is about: Every Victim Matters.
Please see our website/ News & Events:

We like to help our communities grow. Let’s help saving lives by raising awareness.

Poran Poregbal, RSW, RCC
Iranian Educators Society for Families
Feb 4, 2010

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