In December 2009, I received a letter from a reader who explained that she needed to understand the misbehavior (stalking and harassment) by her Iranian boyfriend. Not being proud of this to say, the explained misbehavior is however rather a normal behavior in the male culture that many of our boys are being raised in. Having been eager to explore this topic more in depth, now i only touch on one aspect of this problem with misbehavior of our male.
The complex problem with stalking and harassment by this “Iranian’ male sounded frustrating and complicated to deal with. First of all, the issue of harassment and stalking has neither has anything to do with nationality, nor it is related to one sex or one group of people, this is part of the emotional, psychological, and mental health issues that some individuals are suffering from.
At the same time, it was clear that this man like other stalkers had hard time to accept “No” as an answer. Sadly, “No” to these harassers / stalkers mean the fall down of their world because they are badly obsessed and possessive of their female partners.
Who are these stalkers really? I am sure there are enough of studies and research about this topic, , still in my humble opinion stalkers are totally discouraged people whose actions are hurting people and damaging relationships.
Clearly, harassment is not a problem that can be solved this easily; it takes willingness and a cultural shift; however oppression leaves no room for openness and understanding. Oppressive male culture has to be analyzed by our new generation of young male and females who are fighting for a peaceful change.
Now back to the comment on the Middlepeace website, the one that I am responding to now; many men in all cultures have the fear of rejection, a reason for them to pursue their thoughts with rigidity, try to convince the partner to stay, and act weird as they do.
Stalking and harassment could be rooted in a male dominated patriarchy, still mental health issues that these individuals are dealing with can not be underestimated. So before the problem belongs to a certain culture, we should see it from a bigger perspective which is the need for family education and relationship health.
It is significant to realize how these individuals view their own world and how their constructs are formed. Thus, the fact is that there is a huge need to challenge the Persian male culture as well as the oppressive male culture.