I am so proud of the fact that we Iranians have educated and dedicated people like you to rely on getting accurate information about our own country and culture. You are contributing to our society and you should be proud of yourself. keep up the good and professional work!!!

Love,
Ellie

Where and how do I begin? I am a white woman being stalked and harassed by not just one Persian man but a community. I don’t understand the reaction and can only assume there is a cultural aspect. He seemed to be uncomfortable with something I said to him over a year ago; I wasn’t insulting just emotional. He didn’t talk to me but instead used young Persians (males mostly) to yell at me and harass me on the street (???). (I say young because he is in his mid-forties). I became angry with the harassment, ignored it as much as I could, but I fought back by insulting him. The harassment increased. He never could confront me but used others for the harassment. They began to follow me around. It seems many other members of the Persian community became involved. Over this past year and a half, many more outside of the Persian community were recruited to help harass me.

He lies about what I do, slanders my character, makes false police reports and gets others to insult and threaten me. But when no one is looking, he stares longingly after me. He has been doing that from the beginning. It’s like he has a dual personality. I find out from others the lies he has been spreading, such as accusing me of stalking him, but he likes to walk under my window and around my apartment building (I never told him where I live. It’s easy enough to find out but he, and others, know exactly which window is mine. That took some surveillance.)

He has a Persian girlfriend but that doesn’t stop him from watching me after dark on my street when I return to my apartment. He seems to have moved into an apartment across the street from mine in the last few months. He watches me from the window when I’m loading my car. However, he maintains the rumor that I am a threat to him and somehow convinces others to watch me. Why is he in my neighborhood (where I have lived for over 10 years) if he feels threatened by me; so much so that he has called the police! (?)

I don’t understand why he behaves this way. He clearly is fascinated by me (obsessed I guess you would call it) but behaves so cruelly. Yes, I really insulted him in the past ( I called him a coward and used obscene language) but that was in response to the harassment. I guess Persian men don’t accept women defending themselves. I don’t know but I haven’t made any contact for the longest time. Yet this still goes on. And, if this were just one man I would just attribute it to this person’s problem but it seems to be a cultural problem. Why have so many (Persians, at first) gotten involved in something that was just a conflict between two people? Why was he not able to respond himself and instead chose to get others to follow and harass me?

I’m hoping you could offer me some insight into Persian male culture and why they would respond this way. In the west, this is not how one would respond. It’s so extreme and hateful and vengeful. For what?
————————————————————–
Respond Dec 21,2009:
Tanya

Thanks for sharing your story. I believe harassment and stalking are criminal acts that has to be reported to Police for further actions. I would agree that some men; Persian or not, have hard time to hear “No”, still these men despite of their nationality can have mental health issues or other problem,s; yet they should be accountable for what they do. Please do not hesitate to contact your police authorities as harassment and stalking are very serious issues. People who harass or are obsessed with someone they are seriously in need of clinical help. I will write more about this issue in relation to some important cultural factors.

Poran Poregbal/ Editor
Middlepeace website
————————————————————–
Comment received: Dec22,2009

I think you need to
address the Persians culture attitude toward women, especially when they are
living in a Western culture. The feminist revolution has changed a lot for women
in the West and we fought hard for it. Unfortunately, non-Western cultures don’t
understand the autonomy of Western women and react archaically. Yes, there are
plenty of misogynistic western men but the overall culture is less tolerant of
their actions. There seems to be a culturally accepted reinforcement of misogyny
in non-Western cultures that not only affects the women of these cultures but,
from an immigration standpoint, is beginning to spill over into these men’s
reactions to women in the Western world. Unfortunately, I think Persian and
Indian men (to name just two) see women as less than men. Thinking they are
being supportive of women when they praise women for being care-givers, they see
women as nothing else. A feminist revolution needs to put into force in
your and other non-Western cultures. There are seeds growing and I would love to
help force this movement but it needs to come from women in non-Western
communities. However, as long as they see no need or are pressured by a
collectivist culture to behave in a certain way, there will not be a mass
movement.

I can imagine the difficulties of trying to adapt a
collectivist culture into an individualistic one but less emphasis on the
“group” and more emphasis on individual responsibility is needed, not only for
the freedom of non-Western women but also for the freedom of everyone. I think
Martin Luther King stated: “No one is free, until everyone is free.” Is
that not what new immigrants want? They left the repressive governments
and situations in their homeland to enjoy the freedom of the West. But
to relegate women to a subordinate position, destroys any hope for this
freedom.

I would love to help you in your pursuit for social
justice.

Thank you,
Tanya

He lies about what I do, slanders my character, makes false police reports and gets others to insult and threaten me. But when no one is looking, he stares longingly after me. He has been doing that from the beginning. It’s like he has a dual personality. I find out from others the lies he has been spreading, such as accusing me of stalking him, but he likes to walk under my window and around my apartment building (I never told him where I live. It’s easy enough to find out but he, and others, know exactly which window is mine. That took some surveillance.)

He has a Persian girlfriend but that doesn’t stop him from watching me after dark on my street when I return to my apartment. He seems to have moved into an apartment across the street from mine in the last few months. He watches me from the window when I’m loading my car. However, he maintains the rumor that I am a threat to him and somehow convinces others to watch me. Why is he in my neighborhood (where I have lived for over 10 years) if he feels threatened by me; so much so that he has called the police! (?)

I don’t understand why he behaves this way. He clearly is fascinated by me (obsessed I guess you would call it) but behaves so cruelly. Yes, I really insulted him in the past ( I called him a coward and used obscene language) but that was in response to the harassment. I guess Persian men don’t accept women defending themselves. I don’t know but I haven’t made any contact for the longest time. Yet this still goes on. And, if this were just one man I would just attribute it to this person’s problem but it seems to be a cultural problem. Why have so many (Persians, at first) gotten involved in something that was just a conflict between two people? Why was he not able to respond himself and instead chose to get others to follow and harass me?

I’m hoping you could offer me some insight into Persian male culture and why they would respond this way. In the west, this is not how one would respond. It’s so extreme and hateful and vengeful. For what?

Tanya: Thanks for sharing your story. I believe harassment and stalking are criminal acts that has to be reported to Police for further actions. I would agree that some men; Persian or not, have hard time to hear “No”, still these men despite of their nationality can have mental health issues or other problem,s; yet they should be accountable for what they do. Please do not hesitate to contact your police authorities as harassment and stalking are very serious issues. People who harass or are obsessed with someone they are seriously in need of clinical help. I will write more about this issue in relation to some important cultural factors.
Poran Poregbal/ Editor

che aali .besiar khub ast . mobarak bashad .
montazere nazariyat badi bashid .