Child Rights

تحقیقات مغزی نشانگر تغییرات ساختاری در مغز متاثر از آزار‌های جسمی‌ – جنسی‌- روح – و روانی‌ در دوران کودکی میباشند

علم روانشناسی‌ – عصب شناسی‌ امروزه قادر به به نشان دادن تاثیرات منفی‌ اذیت و آزار دوران کودکی در مغز می‌باشد و از جمله تاثیرات آزار دوران کودکی، می‌توان پیدایش و رشد بیماری‌های روانی‌ و شخصیتی در دوران بزرگسالی را نام برد

ناراحتی‌‌های جنسی‌، عدم توانایی و یا گرایش جنسی‌ در بزرگسالی و حتی اختلالات بیشمار جنسی‌ از دیگر تاثیرات منفی‌ مسائل مربوط به تاثیرات مخرب آزارهای دوران کودکی میباشند. افرادی که در کودکی مورد تنبیه جسمی‌ شدید قرار گرفته و یا ضربه‌های زیاد به سر ایشان وارد شده بر طبق تمام پژوهش‌های مرتبط به ساختار مغز، ریسک پذیری بیشتری در مورد دچار شدن به یک نوع بیماری روح – روانی‌ در دوران بزرگسالی‌ نشان میدهند

پژوهش‌های جدیدی در مورد زنانی که مورد آزار‌های بیشمار و خشن در دوران کودکی قرار گرفته بودند، وجود این تغییرات مغزی را ثابت می‌کند. این تغییرات در مناطقی از مغز دیده میشوند که مکان آگاهی‌ احساسی‌، پاسخ‌های فیزیکی و احساسی‌ میباشند. این بخش از مغز کارش بوجود آوردن تعادل احساسی‌ و واکنش فیزیکی – حرکتی‌ میباشند

از بین رفتن عملکرد و پاسخ احساسی‌ در این بخش از مغز در دوران کودکی ، به نیاز ذاتی کودک به بقا بوده می‌باشد، در جایی که کودک یاد می‌گیرد که آزار را تحمل کند و آن را رفتاری عادی تلقی‌ کند. از بین رفتن قدرت ادراک حسی در کودکی، به دچار شدن فرد به بیماری‌های روحی و رفتار‌های پریشان در دوران بزرگسالی‌ می‌انجامد

این یافته‌های جدید علمی‌، کمک بسیاری به درک ارتباط مستقیم آزار‌های کودکی با مشکلات ناتوانی جنسی‌ در بزرگ سالی‌ میکنند، مشکلی‌ که تعداد بیشماری از انسان‌های دنیا به آن مبتلا هستند. امید که با توجه به یافته‌های علمی‌ بتوان درک و همدردی بیشتری برای مبتلایان به ناراحتی‌‌های روحی‌ روانی‌ ایجاد کرد

Source: http://www.neuropsychotherapist.com

Share

We Iranian do not know much about sexual abuse and we do not want to know. This statement does not say that we do not have the complex problem of sexual abuse within our communities. We have huge problems, still we are covering our heads with blankets to not hear, not feel, not know, and not listen. Why is that? Well, we Iranian are prohibited to talk about sex and sexuality, not that we are angles, no, because we have not culturally been raised to be open-minded. I certainly apologize if I offend some people. We have to have this discussion.

Child sexual abuse is a problem that affects every community around the world. Our attitude toward children is not certainly the healthiest one in the world. We Iranian somehow have learned that children do not understand much and they forget everything that happens to them during the childhood. Metaphorically we say: they will grow and forget. No, they will not. Pedophiles and perverts exist among every single culture. There are many of them in our home country and in our communities. We give them right and access to children by denying the problem itself.

Think carefully and let admit our misconceptions and mistakes. In our Iranian culture, children are sometimes left out to the cruelty of their parents, adults in their neighborhoods, teachers in schools, other adults who try to exploit the child in any possible ways.

This is no surprise that we our Persian culture do not have lawful means to protect our children, no one is protected by law anyway. People are suffering in various levels, individuals, groups. Our communities are mostly in pain that is caused by the chaos of ideology instead of human rights protection.

Sexual abuse of children is a society problem in every country and society. Sexual abuse is an act of crime, done by someone who is close to the child. Studies have shown that teachers, couches, priests, babysitters, grandparents, and parents are the main abusers. Since there is no study about this issue in our Iranian communities (may be I miss that data) it is hard to say what kinds of caregiver have mostly committed this horrible crime.

In many families in our home country who do marry young girls (under age) we do justify the sexual abuse of that girl. We know that many traditional families in our home country they do force their young girls to marry. How many of us do not have mothers or females in their families who were married away to someone they did not know? How many of our young girls in Iran are being given to men much older than their age, still these girls are under age? This is a legitimate form of sexual abuse and rape in our culture. We need to first recognize sexual abuse being a problem that exists and that ruins many communities inside and outside of our home country.

Iranian girls who are being touched sexually or inappropriately would never dare to report that. Few who have reported rape or abuse have been blamed for the crime and punished for the truth. That is a shameful story that has never been acknowledged.

Victims of sexual abuse in our culture are usually forced to be silent, threatened to be punished if they disclose, and left out with the blame of having caused the sexual interaction.

If the walls of fear would fall down, many of these victims would come forward to testify the level of abuse, fear, isolation, emotional trauma, terror, and hurt that they have endured in the hands of those who decided to have sexual gratification with children.

Sexual abuse is a crime. We need to educate people and have them realize that children should be respected sincerely. Children have the right to live and thrive with safety, compassion, and away from harm. Sexual abuse is a crime that leads to physical and emotional abuse.

Sexual abuse victims are most silent and stigmatized people in our Iranian communities. Young victims of sexual abuse are doomed to a life time package of guilt, shame, and pain.

We should realize that sexual abuse is a huge problem that needs to be discussed openly and respectfully in our communities.

We should open up a debate and invite individuals come forward talking about this issue. I guess we do not like to open the can of worms, still the decision is not ours, it is expected of us to do the right thing.

We need to educate our health professionals, our doctors, our nurses and our educators about the devastation of this issue.

We do not talk about sex in our Persian culture. This is a topic that needs clarification, discussion, and education. We can only be authentic and admit that, it is going to take a long time for our Persian culture to start talking about this issue and other problems around sexuality.

If we do not educate our children, we let them be open to exploitation and harm. In our Persian culture we have been forced to silent a long time, it is now time to change that killing silent; it is time to talk about what is an open topic in western cultures.

This topic is one of the hundreds of other topics that need to come to our cultural agenda. When would that be possible? It is hard to say.

Note: This article was originally written and published in EzineArticles June 21,2008 by this author.

Share


What do we know about Child Protection?

Child sexual abuse is a problem that involve societal attitudes and the protection laws around individuals rights. In our Iranian culture children are often left out to the cruelty of their parents, adults in their neighbourhoods, teachers in schools, other adults who try to exploit the child in any possible ways.

This is no surprise that we in our Persian culture do not have legitimate means to protect our children; no one is protected by law anyway. People are suffering from various levels, individuals, groups; communities are all in pain that is caused by the chaos of “ideology instead of human rights protection.”

Many times sexual abuse is justified by many religious terms or it is covered up with concepts that do not make any sense. The bottom line is that sexual abuse is a real problem in our culture that is ailing. Our children and youth are the real victims, sometimes, more than they can bear. Suicides among young people are many times due to unspoken issues such as sexual abuse. We have to learn and to teach our communities about this serious problem.

Sexual abuse of children exists in every country and every society. Sexual abuse is an act of crime, done by someone who is close to the child. The offender usually intimidates the victims by putting the shame and blame on them. These victims feel dirty, guilty, and shameful for something that was done to them. The burden of shame and guilt is something more than a human body can take. This leads to many serious mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and chronic pain.

Studies have shown that teachers, couches, priests, babysitters, grandparents, and parents are the main abusers. Since there is no study about this issue in Persian culture, it is hard to say what kind of caregivers does mostly commit this horrible crime. However, it is most often someone who gets close to the child and makes the child to trust him or her. Yes, I say “her”; women also could be abusers of young boys!

In those families in our home country who do marry young girls (underage) we do “justify” the sexual abuse of that girl. These victims are usually forced to be silent, threatened to be punished if they disclose, and left out with the blame of having caused the sexual interaction.

We know that many traditional families around our home country, they marry their young girls. Wouldn’t these types of marriages be called an official sexual abuse of children?

Definition of Child according to the Canadian laws is a person under age 18!

Two major laws to remember:

· Criminal Code of Canada

· In British Columbia; the Child, Family, and Community Services Act

These are the national and provincial legislation that are protecting children from any abuse.

If the walls of fear would fall down, many of these victims would come forward to testify the level of fear, isolation; emotional trauma, terror, and hurt that they have endured in the hands of those who decided to find sexual gratification with children.

Sexual abuse is a crime. We need to educate people and have them realize that children should be respected sincerely. Children have the right to live and thrive with safety, compassion, and away from harm. Sexual abuse is a crime that leads to physical and emotional abuse.

Sexual abuse victims are most silent and stigmatized young children (girls and boys), young girls, and women, people who carry a huge package of guilt, shame, and pain.

We should realize that sexual abuse is a huge problem that needs to be discussed openly and respectfully in our communities.

We should open up a debate where women and men could come forward talking about this issue and seeking help. The reality indicates that, it is going to take a long time for our Persian culture to start talking about this issue and other problems around sexuality. We do not talk about sex in our Persian culture. This is a topic that needs clarification, discussion, and education. If we do not educate our children, we let them be open to exploitation and harm. In our Persian culture we have been forced to silent a long time, it is now time to change that killing silent; it is time to talk about what is an open topic in western cultures. This topic is one of the hundreds of other topics that should be part of our cultural discussion agenda. When would that be possible? It is hard to say.

December 12, 2007

www.middlepeace.com

Share

How much do we believe that Children Have Rights?

Do we all agree that children have rights?

Do we know the rights of our children?

How do we Iranian acknowledging children’s rights?

How do we at all respecting human rights?

Obviously, this topic is controversial. We have never in our history been given any rights

Although there are many child advocates among us, yet, we have hard time to think about the rights of our children that are being violated every day. Some of us are using more democratic style of parenting and our children are respected for their opinions. Another group of us believe that our children should be raised as we were raised.

This is a lengthy story…..

I want to acknowledge the Canadian Children’s Rights.

For more info about these rights visit:

http://www.canadiancrc.com/index.html

Reason for opening up this debate is to raise a collective awareness around how we deal with our children and other children.

It is time to bring that discussion to the level of a public discussion; a free, democratic, and reflective learning opportunity.

How do you think you have done so far?

How do you think we have respected our children’s right up to this point?

July 31, 2007

www.middlepeace.com

Share

Not only we do not know about the issue of sexual abuse, we have no idea that boys could also be sexually abused.
Since 2004, I’ve worked for the BC Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse. This is a non-profit organization that provides victim-services and counseling programs for males who have been sexually abused.

Prior to this position, I had no real idea about male victimization. I always believed sexual abuse was a women’s issue only.

I have learned in the past three years of working with men who are survivors of sexual abuse that men suffer as much as women do. They show their emotions differently.

I have learned that sexual abuse occurs in all races and ethnical groups, all nations, all religions, and that it is a pervasive problem in every society.

As a victim-services worker and a counselor, I have come to the conclusion that sexual abuse can be prevented if human agencies raise the awareness, if we educate our children and teach them how to NOT BECOME VICTIMS!

How do we educate our children about this difficult topic?

· From an early age, we teach them that there is a difference between a good touch and a bad touch.

· We NEVER assume boys are not being victimized; THEY ARE.

· We teach them their private parts are THEIR private parts.

· We teach them that NO ONE ELSE can touch, look at, or play with THEIR private parts.

· We teach them that as their parents we are able to protect them.

It is our role to know who is caring for our children and what our children are exposed to in terms of magazines, movies, and so on, and that we have the ability to speak to an expert if we feel something is wrong.

Being open minded and thinking preventative is better than being sorry and hurt!

May 2, 2007

www.middlepeace.com

Share

What Do we know about Child Sexual Abuse?

What is sexual abuse?

How much do we care to know about and to understand the huge issue of child sexual abuse?

How is it that no one is taking responsibility for child victims of sexual abuse?

How is that we do not admit we have such problem?

How can we be blind to the pain of our children in Iran?

What is happening to our children and how can we prevent it from happening?

We have never in our entire history talked about child sexual abuse, or sexual abuse as a societal problem. This topic and any topic related to our bodies, especially our sexual bodies, is taboo (haram) to talk about! How come? The problem is bigger than this one single article can tackle. I am sure others have tried to open this topic, however, the problem and the reasons for this issue are very deep.

The main reason for why we are not talking about this issue is that we are shy and we are ashamed of discussing sexuality. Men in our society have their hands on our daughters and we do not dare to stand up for our girls!

You may say, “why men?” Well, who else?

There are few, if any, girls who have come forward to disclose this problem, and those that have, have been shut down or blamed for the abuse! In fact, in a country like Iran where the legal age for marriage varies from 9 years and above, how can we talk about sexual abuse? We are “legally” letting our girls be sexually abused, raped, and exploited by those men or “husbands.”

In a country like Iran, where the majority of women have no voice, where they are blamed for not giving enough service to their husbands, where they have to line up in the court rooms day in and day out to apply for divorce, where the judge, who is most probably a mullah, gives women the advice to “think twice” and go back to their husbands or lose their children, and where children are given to women for only a short time (girls up to age 7 and boys up to age 2), how could anyone be interested in dealing with sexual abuse as a problem?

What is child sexual abuse anyway?

Child sexual abuse is when a person responsible for a child, being the father, uncle, brother, grandfather, or whoever else, uses a child for sexual purposes.

An abuser is usually someone who is known to the child, someone who has power over the child, and someone who threatens the child if the child tries to speak up!

Abusers always put the blame on the child and they seek children who are not being cared for properly anyway.

Sexual abuse and sexual harassment occurs also when an adult lets a child touch the adult’s genitals, lets the child watch pornography in order to use the child for sexual purposes, or even when an adult uses sexual language all the time.

Children are the silent sufferers in our culture; no one cares for them and no one protects them, because basically our Iranian culture does not give many rights to our children anyway.

In Western cultures, there are walls of legal protection–not that sexual abuse isn’t happening–but at least families are being educated about the problems.

If you know of any child here in Canada or elsewhere that is being sexually abused, please do not close your eyes. Please help the child to find help. The least you can do is to acknowledge the child’s pain and let him/her know that IT IS NOT HIS/HER FAULT!

Please help to open this discussion. Maybe we can save some of those millions of children!

April 26, 2007

www.middlepeace.com

Share