Middlepeace

How much do we believe that Children Have Rights?

Do we all agree that children have rights?

Do we know the rights of our children?

How do we Iranian acknowledging children’s rights?

How do we at all respecting human rights?

Obviously, this topic is controversial. We have never in our history been given any rights

Although there are many child advocates among us, yet, we have hard time to think about the rights of our children that are being violated every day. Some of us are using more democratic style of parenting and our children are respected for their opinions. Another group of us believe that our children should be raised as we were raised.

This is a lengthy story…..

I want to acknowledge the Canadian Children’s Rights.

For more info about these rights visit:

http://www.canadiancrc.com/index.html

Reason for opening up this debate is to raise a collective awareness around how we deal with our children and other children.

It is time to bring that discussion to the level of a public discussion; a free, democratic, and reflective learning opportunity.

How do you think you have done so far?

How do you think we have respected our children’s right up to this point?

July 31, 2007

www.middlepeace.com

Culture of violence creates its own spheres of interpersonal relationships.  Culture is around us and we live with it.  However, at times we forget how we create our own cultures. Part of this culture creation is how we tell stories or jokes.

We construct and perpetuate the notion of violence in ways we may not be aware of.  We promote a sense of  hopelessness, abuse, neglect, rape, and various deviations when we engage in telling narratives that only have violent contents.

We internalize violence and desensitize cruelty.

We compare, contrast, confront, label, stigmatize, and generalize negativity and violence enforced upon us.

Instead of rejecting these dark areas impacting our lives, we are incorporating them into our lives. What do I mean?

Have you noticed that war, killings, murders, death, hangings, executions, assassinations, and torture have found a way into our daily life?

How? I will tell you!

How many jokes we hear about the war and the way people were dismembered and disabled?

How many jokes we tell about the way people were killed by chemicals, gas, mass weapon destruction, bombs, rockets, missiles and all that?

How many jokes we share about how people are being punished and tortured in “Hell”/ “Jahanam” as we say?

How many jokes we know regarding how men and women would be punished differently due to adult life they choose to have?

How many jokes we tell about people who are being given choice for the way they want to be dead? (Those choices are about how less painful dead could be!)

How many jokes we make about clothes restrictions for women in our home country and what the responses of women would be?

How many jokes we hear about child molestation, addictions, prostitution, theft, and other social issues no one wants to deal with it in our home country?

The lists go on and on……

There is a certain pattern in all these jokes; they are projecting the hard reality caused by human caused disasters.

Why is that?

May be we try to make fun these horrible experiences that makes no sense whatsoever!

Now the question is:

When did killing and torture become this normal in our culture?

When did we lose feelings /emotions about people being punished for any reason?

Why should punishment be the response for everything?

Why we are this much discouraged and hopeless?

Why we have let a culture of violence encompass our daily life?

Why we are perpetuating what is not right, what is not humanistic, and what is not appropriate?

What do we think we are passing down to our next generations?

Think about this!

What is your idea behind all the horrible jokes we tell each other?

I assume we can not joke around topics such as happiness, joy, love, partnership, and kindness in our jokes?

I assume you would say Jokes are supposed to be this way!

But, haven’t we lost the point?!

July 26, 2007

www.middlepeace.com

Healthy Identity is something that we need more than ever. Why?

www.middlepeace.com

How much do we know about Iranian Youth perspective?
In year 2000 I attended a meeting for Iranian parents and youth.  This meeting was arranged and held by Public Law School.  The meeting was an effort to start a dialogue where parents and youth could sit together and articulate their feelings about the new life in migration and the culture shock for both of parties.
This workshop was about dealing with youth from a “youth perspective” undefined in our Iranian culture. Many of the attending parents had concerns about the challenges of handling their youth requests and expectations.  Both mothers and fathers expressed their emotions about their youth who are:
“Not listening”, “not following the rules at home”, “acting angry”, and “not talking to parents with respect!”
I was there and observing some youth who were shaking their heads, raising their eyebrows, and showing their frustration of the “adult world” that did not understood them.
After some heated discussions, an 18 years old brave young man started to talk:
“Our parents brought us here to Canada and they always say we came because of you, my family do not accept me as I am and at this point they ask me to move out.  Where can I go?  I have no money, no jobs, noting, because my father have always said I should only study and become an engineer or something, now…”

This young man was obviously frustrated was telling the group that his parents complain about everything.  He said that his father gives him lots of stress with putting pressure on him about how he does at school, peer contacts, and everyday life.  This young man did not know that his dad also was in the meeting.  The father had hide in a corner away from the son’s view. Eventually the son did see the father and he left the meeting.
Now it was father’s turn to talk about his concerns and complaints.  The story unfolding from the father’s point of view pictured a chaotic life, daily anxiety, loneliness, regrets, avoidance, hate, resentment, and also love for one another.  The father started crying after he finished his talk.  It was not clear what role the mother had, if there was any mother in the picture!
Some one continued the discussion by saying that:
“Young people need respect and attention in a healthy way.  We sometimes give excessive attention and try to “fix” everything for our children, while not teaching them being independent and experience life.”
Another father insisted that:
“We as adults know better and we have to ask our children to listen to us, because we have at least “torn a couple of shirts more than them” and we are more experienced than our kids (young children he meant)!”
These Iranian parents were trying hard to learn how to deal with their young children.  However we were missing one point, one important factor.  We do not try to understand our teenagers mind and way of thinking.
Youth and children today are under pressure.  Adding to this, our Iranian youth has to deal with the cultural differences both at home and out there, at the same time that they are dealing their own physical and psychological development.
We miss seeing the fact that the more advice we give our children, the less they become independent.
We miss the point that coming to Canada may have been for a better future for our children; yet, it has not been their choice.
We miss the reality that our children and youth have to deal with many contrasts; parents bringing them here for a better future and at the same time giving them hard time for having brought them here.
Why not start distinguishing between our world view and our youth’s perspective.  Time has changed and the way we were brought up can not compare to today.  We culturally use a “back door policy” in order to discipline our children; we make them fearful. Fear of being punished by god, go to hell, fail in school, not be loved by us and be a bad person.
Our children have different needs, they are stressed out due to the negative impact of media, migration, dislocation, parent’s unemployment, and all other issues parents are dealing with. Our children deal with uncertainty of their physical body which creates many emotional challenges.
Our children (if they are older at the time of our migration) suffer a great deal in the first years of our migrant life, they may be excited about the new opportunities, yet they have feelings for the lost friends and hobbies back home.
Please let go of the blame and seek help if you are unsure how to deal with your children, particularly your youth.

July 24, 2007
www.middlepeace.com