middlepeace.com

During past couple of months, I have heard of several incidents and news about death of individuals in our Iranian - Canadian community that unfortunetly have gone unnoticed.  This note intends to raise awareness and explore ways in which we can do more in future to help those who are in pain or those having difficult times.

We should be concerned and be willing to rise above and beyond to discuss why there is silent suffering within our community.  We should feel sorry for how we as a community could be doing more, yet at times we are all caught in details and superficialities.

Out of respect for these people,  no one should be allowed to disclose their identity or feel sorry for them.  Each one of us goes through life differently and individually.

Just two months ago, I heard about the sudden death of a young Iranian woman who lived in Vancouver.  Many of us must have passed her by and some of us may have known her.   She was in her mid-40’s.  She died in silence.  She was a single mother, divorced, depressed, unemployed, ill, and in grief for many unknown reasons.   She was found dead by her relatives.  The  autopsy showed that she died of natural reasons.  Her heart had just stopped beating - I am sure her heart was broken because of many issues that many of our fellow Iranian women and men are dealing with.

We can only imagine how she have felt or what she experienced in her young life.

Besides this incident, there have been many suicides in our community during past couple of years, including a young mother who jumped from a bridge just last year.

We all hear these stories.  Undoubtedly, there are too many of these stories we constantly hear about, things that are happening for  our fellow Iranians either here or elsewhere.

This is devastating to witness this much of pain and suffering among our people.

However we can help one another more, at least for those of us living in resourceful countries like Canada.

The most recent suicide was by a male, someone many of us know.  Again we are focused on the circumstances that led to these exhibitions of helplessness, hopelessness, and pain.

Suicide is one of the areas we never want to hear about. It is hard to contemplate how someone can get to that point.  People who get into this destructive path, they go through a wide range of emotions such as guilt, shame, anxiety, confusion, anger, depression, isolation, pain, and loss.

If we add the couple of shooting incidents in which our young Iranian (mostly male) individuals have been involved, then we can realize that the list goes on and on.

It is important to know that help is available and we can help those who are suffering in silence.
There are enough researches proving how mental health influences our physical, spiritual, and social life.

Challenges in personal, interpersonal, and social relationships do not need to cause us this much of emotional distress.   Divorce, parenting problems, domestic abuse, bullying, dating problems, and harassments are only few areas where individuals and families are affected by without seeking proper help.

Depression is a normal reaction to many abnormal situations.

Therefore, we need to promote help and hope.

Reaching out and asking for help should be encouraged more in our community. It is up to all of us to promote hope.

Help is available.

November 30,2009
www.middlepeace.com

In promoting new skills for our Iranian community, we are forced to discuss a prolonged migration that has direct impact on our lives.  In our Iranian community, we have  numerous professionals who do challenge the status quo by asking the mainstream services target more specific populations.  In that sense we are creating our new immigrant community.

We Iranian know this metaphoric paradigm: “No one scratches your back but your own nails”, meaning no one helps you but yourself.  This is how it feels when realizing the overwhelming amount of issues and problems that our communities face.

We can not afford to let go of our own power and wait for someone else do something for our community.  For years we Iranian have asked all authorities to provide for an “Iran’s House”, however we can not organize our own resources towards something like that.

Now, it is time for action and we have to understand that the solutions to our problems are in our hands.

I will tell you more about what I mean.

Having one epsilon of care for the cultural-political-social-historical and psychological dilemmas we Iranians live with,  we have to think large.  We have to be wishful in our thoughts.  We have to imagine the best we can do in order to anything gets done.

We are all suffering from the constant repressive forces that are worsening the human condition in our communities inside our home country.

However problems do not stay in one place, they move.

They come here with people who are leaving Iran due to the unimaginable hardships.  We have dilemmas here, in our communities where we reside.

The only difference is the degree of problems, however relationship issues, divorce, parenting problems, depression, anxiety, confusion, and family problems find new shapes in our immigrant communities.

We need to  gather our strength and optimism to help our communities in best possible ways.

For this reason, we have established a non profit society to offer our clinical expertise to our people here in Greater Vancouver.

Iranian Educators Society for Families is the result of a wishful thinking and hard work.

Now that we have a society in place, we need support for the delivering of our services.

Yet, we hear some government funded programs being concerned about “duplication of services.”

It is interesting that now that we have for the first time created a place of our own, a place we can use our cultural expertise and clinical support for our people, then we hear about some “concerns.”

It is well perceived that in the North American culture we live in a large competition filed, those who run faster will win, yet not necessary those who run faster always do a greater job.
To those who are concern about our growth and our Society, I would like to say: Sorry, competition is a fact.

At times we have to look at the quality of the services we offer.

This is where my paradigm shift comes to place: No one scratches your back besides your own nails. We got to do it by ourselves.  we can not let our deprssed or abused women be in the long waiting lists for counselling. We can not let parents who do not know how to handle their young children suffer alone. We can help them.

Iranian Educaotrs Society for Families have clinical counsellors and we do not have any waiting list. We like to offer our best practices to those in need in a clear concept: Care.

We have the knowledge and expertise. More wishful thinking is to receive government funding for what we believe is a unique set of ideas and programs.

November 17,2009

www.middlepeace.com

Don’t you ever wish to live in a peaceful place where you know there is no war or conflicts going on? In that imagery place people could live their life without anyone violating their rights. Now listen to this.
The City of Tale or Shahr-e-Ghesseh was a story and a play written and directed by Bijan Mofid back in 1960-70’s. This play was shown in the Iran’s national T.V. back then and it was viewed by millions of us.  Still today we Iranians have this story is in our collective mind and we can sing the many beautiful songs from this play.  This story was a taste for how a peaceful society works and how members of this society should co-exist.  In this city individuals are animal figures working in various jobs that are indeed matching their characters.  The story teller begins with a thorough presentation of every character.  The clear diversity in this city tells you how each one of these characters live their life without any harassment or conflict.  Listening to the roles and responsibilities of each character you figure out how they in their own little way contribute to the bigger society.  The politic context of the story made it possible for some critiques of the lack of personal and political freedom of the time.
The conversation among these characters explores love, loss, identity, and also shifts of roles.  Some of the figures live on the society’s margins while others are quite productive members.
This is a dynamic story of characters that could be found in every community in our world; however the story is still relevant to our Iranian life.  The rhythmic songs and descriptions of the characters roles are not only amusing but quite entertaining.  A clear respectful interaction exists among sexes, a phenomenon that could be real challenges for an old patriarchy like our society, then and now.  Female figure in this story has freedom, choice, and a place in the heart of every member of this society, while she is respected and accepted.

I guess Shahr-e-Ghesseh was the notion of a free society or a peaceful society that Bijan Mofid pictured for our Iran, a place for co-existence and respect.
Don’t you ever wish that we could create our Shahr-e-Ghesseh, yet now in the hindsight of history? We need our peaceful co-existence in our human life agenda, very soon.
July 7, 2009
www.middlepeace.com